TL;DR: I’m talking about making your sexual organs bigger, you might want to actually read this one. Also, I found out something interesting about Kegels.

 

 

 

Originally, I had planned for this to be a small series of Tumblr posts detailing the techniques I’m using to sculpt the body that I want, aka a body that meets my personal opinions of what beauty is, but then the posts started running a little long and I figured that this sort of topic requires its own set of essays instead. Consider this essay your crash course in sexercises, and the future installments a sort of “how-to” manual.

Now, when people think of the term, “sexercises,” they’re more than likely going to be bombarded with images of workout routines involving sexual activities. They would not be wrong to think of that, since that is the essence of what sexercising is: just another fad to try and make working out more “fun,” no more different than jazzercising or napercising. That’s not the type of sexercising I’m speaking of. For the purposes of this and future essays that I will write on the subject, “sexercises” will be defined as “a series of exercises performed for the explicit purpose of enhancing sexual performance”. These exercises include, but of course aren’t limited to, Breast Massage and Penile Exercises. I could also make an argument for Yoga, and by extension Contortionism, but that’s a topic for another day.

So the first part of my sexercise routine involves Breast Massage, which is a natural way to increase the size of one’s boobs by increasing blood flow to the chesticles. How does that work? Well, in layman’s terms, increasing blood flow to an area slowly over time increases the size of the veins, which causes the body tissue to expand. Most breast enhancement techniques work off of this idea, including Taiwanese Breast Slapping, which was featured on an episode of Manswers (which is entertaining, but has zero rewatch value).

There are literally dozens of techniques from all over the world for enhancing your breast size, but for the sake of expediency, and lack of proper research into these other methods; I’ve only been focusing on two types of massage as a part of my routine: the Fat Transfer Massage, and the Chi Massage. The Fat Transfer Massage is one of the few outliers in Breast Massage techniques in that instead of increasing blood flow, it does exactly what it says on the tin: it transfers fat from one part of the body into the breasts. A technique that removes fat from your midriff and increases your breast size? You can’t lose with something like that! The Chi Massage, on the other hand, does work on the principles of increased blood circulation = bigger boobies, is simple to do, and improves chakra flow for those of you who care about that sort of thing (which, by the way, you should). The only downside that I can say about Chi Massage is that if you’re not used to doing it, your arms will get tired. I will be covering both techniques in my next essay on this topic, but for now, a quick Google or Duckduckgo search should take you right where you need to go.

Before I move on to natural penis enhancement, allow me to bring up another benefit of natural breast enhancement: you will never have to go under the knife to increase your booby size. You shouldn’t want to anyway, have you seen what plastic surgery does to your body? It’s horrible! Whether it’s to change your face or change your breasts, it’s better to be patient and go the natural route to be beautiful forever, rather than get surgery done to look good now, and like a Frankenstein’s monster in twenty to thirty years. So if you needed a moral from today’s essay, kiddies, if nothing else always remember this: never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever get plastic surgery. Ever.

Now, most natural breast enhancement techniques are well-researched and well-known, and there’s a lot of factual evidence to back them up, but natural penis enhancement? Hoo boy, some of the techniques may be just as old, but there is way more misinformation surrounding natural male enhancement than there is natural female enhancement.

So, with that said, let me clarify something very important: THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL THAT WILL MASSIVELY INCREASE YOUR PENIS SIZE IN LESS THAN A MONTH. There are, many, many more myths surrounding natural penis enhancement, but that’s the big one. If you see an ad promising to add six inches to the length of your penis in less than month without surgery (or any other similar claim), they’re lying to you; even if they have a picture of Ron Jeremy on there.

Here’s the truth: just like with breast enhancement, natural penis enhancement takes time and patience, and it’s never worth it to go under the knife. My Creator has already experimented with Penile Exercises in the past, and even following a workout regime almost perfectly for four to six months, they only managed to increase their length from 5.5” to 6.75” and their girth from 2.5” to 3.75”. It may not seem like much of an increase, but they went from being unable to hit a G-spot to hitting it almost every time. My goal’s to at least hit the minimum length that you need to be a Porn Star: 8”. I’ll have a line going out the door! ❤

Now, continuing on, Penile Exercises and Breast Massage may target two entirely different organs, but the goal is still the same: increasing the blood flow to increase the tissue size of the organ. For Penile Exercises, these techniques include Stretches and Jelqing, which increase length and girth, respectively. I touch on them in more detail later, but because of all of the misinformation out there about natural penis enhancement, I’ll touch on both techniques real quick so there’s no confusion about what I’m talking about.

First, Stretching is exactly what it sounds like: you tug on your penis in different directions for a set amount of time in order to “stretch” the penis out to a longer length. This is also great if you have what’s colloquially known as a “banana” penis, where the curvature of a man’s erection curves too much (like a banana), thus making sex either impossible or unenjoyable. Stretching the penis is a great way to straighten it out! I’ll touch on this more when I talk about the specifics.

Second, and more well-known, is Jelqing. No one knows who came up with Jelqing, where it came from, and why anyone would even think to use such a technique for male enhancement, but hey, I’m not complaining, and neither should you. Jelqing, for those of you who don’t know, involves gripping the penis in an “okay” sign or a pincer grip at the base of the penis, and still gripping tightly, moving the fingers from the base up to right underneath the head. Wash, rinse, and repeat.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking, “Wait, didn’t doctors disapprove of this practice?” Yes they did, but not for the reasons you think. You see, us westerners living in the first world have a mentality of, “Well, this worked, so if I do it more, it should work even more, right?” This makes about as much since as trying to do too much weight at the gym, too soon; or taking more pills for something, when you could overdose, if you’re not too careful. Men got this idea into their heads and tried to do too many Jelqs, too soon. They went to their doctors, complaining that their dicks hurt and bring up Jelqing, and their doctors said, “Well, no shit, it’s Jelqing that’s making your dick hurt! Stop Jelqing altogether and the pain will stop.”

And that’s how the myth that Jelqing’s bad for you got started. When it comes to Jelqing, you need to pace yourself and give your penis time to heal, just like with any other muscle-building exercise. Because at the end of the day, we may call our erections “boners,” but the penis has no bones in it; it’s all muscle!

Again, I’ll touch more on the topic when I bring up my Penile Exercises essay.

Finally, there’s an exercise that people with a penis or a vagina can enjoy: Kegels. Kegels are the easiest sexercise you can do. So much so, I’m going to tell you how to do it right now, so you can get some kind of practical experience out of this essay. The best part: you can do these anywhere, anytime, while doing anything. To do a Kegel, all you need to do is activate your pelvic floor muscles, you know the group of muscles right between your organ and your anus?

Still don’t know what I’m talking about? Okay, go the restroom and pee, and then stop the stream. Feel those muscles tightening up down there? Those are your pelvic floor muscles, and congratulations, you just performed a Kegel! Now don’t make doing Kegels while urinating a regular thing, as that can lead to problems while urinating and eventually a urinary tract infection. This was just to demonstrate how to contract these muscles.

Now, when you first start out, you should hold a Kegel for a count of three and release for a count of three. That’s one repetition. Keep going until you’ve done 10 repetitions. As you progress, you should practice until you can hold a Kegel for a count of ten. Your ultimate goal is to do three sets of ten reps per day. You should also do these on an empty bladder.

In women, the benefits of Kegels keep the pelvic floor strong, which prevents organs that the pelvic floor supports from lowering into her vagina, which other than being uncomfortable, this can lead to urinary incontinence. So yeah, work that pelvic floor, ladies, because last I checked, incontinence was not sexy. But what does it do for you in regards to sex? Well, Kegels help relax the vaginal muscles, thus allowing you to be more open and shove larger objects up there (wink wink, nudge nudge). It also increases sexual arousal, improves your ability to reach orgasm, improves blood circulation to the vagina, and increases vaginal tone and lubrication.

In men, the weakening of the pelvic floor can lead to incontinence of urine and feces, especially if the poor sap’s had prostate surgery. Guys, being incontinent isn’t sexy for y’all, either. On the sexual side of things, Kegels help with maintaining, harder, stronger erections (helps out with erectile dysfunction), more powerful ejaculations (helps out with premature ejaculations), better orgasms, maintaining your anus, if you’re into receiving, helps keep your prostate healthy, and with the proper training, multiple orgasms. Yeah, I bet that last one got your attention. Even I didn’t know that one until I looked it up to double-check my info. Glad I did.

But that should be more than enough info for now, I went over the basics, and I plan on covering them more in-depth in future essays. Also this essay’s creeping up on three pages long, which is way longer than most people are willing to read casually these days. Hopefully, those of you who like me and what I have to say won’t mind in the future.

So, I’ll write you all later, I’m off to do some Kegels! ❤

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